O.K. Enough is enough. If we are going to be the premier skate shop in Florida, we have to tighten up. Starting immediately, all Undercover team riders, their associates, MySpace friends, relatives, school teachers, neighbors, and such need to abide by these rules A.S.A.P.! Fall in ya' Pukes!
1. Abandon your friends! You don't need them anymore. Even if you've known them your whole life. You skate for us now and that's all that matters.
2. If your not with us, your against us. It doesn't matter if you skate or not.
3. You can only shop here. I don't care if your in Tampa and you need new bearings, deal with it! If you spend a nickle anywhere else your off the team!
4. I control the internet. If I don't approve of your top friends then guess what? Your off the team! You are no longer an individual!
5. I control who you skate with. If I don't like who they are or what they represent, then guess what? That's right, your off the team!
6. You must wear a shop shirt at all times. If you don't and I find out, I'll send you home to get one. If you don't go home and get one, then can you guess what might happen? I'll give you a hint: Your off the team!
7. Remember, I'm out to promote my shop, not skateboarding. Screw that. There's no money in that for me.
8. Never doubt me! I am in complete control! It feels so good to think that everyone buys into my bullshit, especially the young guys who don't know any better.
9. UNDERCOVER FOR LIFE FOOL! (or at least until I realize what life is really about and that it has nothing to do to with loyalty to a skate shop but moreso to do with how you treat people and that none of this stuff really matters)
